The close of 2008

As I think about this year coming to an end I can sum the entire year up in one word..... GREATFUL!!!!
Wow, we have been so blessed over the last year to just really start life a new. An amazing church family who is there for us, Benny's new job which has been a blessing in so many different ways..... wow!!! yeah we are so blessed and the Lord just provided, not only for us but he has really provided for us so that we could reach out to other people! Now I have to be honest, I hated EVERY second of it when we had people living with us but hey, their lives have been changed and if we wouldn't have accepted them, who knows where they would be right now!!! So praise the Lord for my husband who is looking to serve the Lord in every single step he takes!!!
We have not only been blessed with our church family at Eastwood but we were able to meet Laura and Eric through soccer which was a blessing and made the soccer season a little more enjoyable!!! We have met a lot of new brothers and sisters in Christ through celebrate recovery and have been able to reach out to them in different ways over the past 6 months or so!

The Lord has just really opened my eyes to see that all the crap, the trials , the hurts and the mistakes I have made in my life are MY TESTIMONY!!! and I am finally understanding that being open and willing to share that with other people is POWERFUL! People are more willing to listen if you can tell them how God has SAVED YOU than if your just telling them they should do it because the Bible says! I am so greatful for my family, my friends and my amazing husband who is a servant of the Lord and an amazing leader for our family!! I thank God for him every day, he is a blessing to us!! :) He is not ashamed of anything he has been through and wow..... its pretty awesome to just be able to watch the holy spirit work through him to reach out to people!!!


We are blessed and I can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for us in 2009!!! I pray that his will be done in our lives and yours as well!

Happy New Year and God Bless You!! :)

Christmas Meme

Ummm... ok So, I was tagged by my beautiful friend Dana.. and I have not a clue what I am doing so... here we go! lol

Christmas Meme!

1. 1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Hot Chocolate! ok... anything with the word chocolate in it or remotely close to it... I am all for it! :)

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? Unwrapped... come on now! who wants to wrap these huge odd shaped gifts!!!!!!

3. Colored light on house/tree or white? lights on the tree are white and no lights on the outside!!! come on now, we still live in the ghetto! Maybe some day the Lord will provide us with a nicer place!

4. Do you hang mistletoe? uh No! sorry! I get plenty of kisses from my hubby as it is! :)

5. When do you put your decorations up? Usually the day after thanksgiving! This year I did it the day after thanksgiving and then my precious mother bought me new ornaments for my entire tree so... I RE-decorated last Thursday!!! Thanks mom!! :) It is beautiful! (If I was talented at photos, like my wonderful friend, I would put one of my tree on here! :)

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? hmmm.. well I love me some dessert but I would Have to say Broccoli Chesse Caserole made by my mother because my Cousin and I used to ALWAYS hide it under the table where all the food was so we could sneak it out after everyone ate and was full! :) hahaha good times!

7. Favorite holiday memory as a child? I think the Christmas eve when our house flooded and we had to stay at Grandmas! I thought santa would NEVER find me and I was soooo upset! :) This is not to mention all my gifts that were under the tree my parents had bought were totally ruined because of the flood so I thought I had NO CHRISTMAS! (I think i was like 7 yrs old)

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? I really don't know... sometime in elementary school, probably 3rd or 4th grade!

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? Oh Yeah, every year we get Christmas pj's so on christmas eve everyone opens their pjs so we can all wear them that night! :)

10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree? Well... chaos is how I would normally explain our tree! The kids make so many different things every year we just throw it all up there and the kids ALWAYS help me decorate so.. by the 5th year of us all doing it together. I try not to be too picky any more because I just stress myself out! it looks great no matter what! :)

11. Snow. Love it or dread it? LOVE it!!

12. Can you ice skate? well... I can, but i don't enjoy it! :)

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? My favorite gift was when my 2 best friends and I got tickets to go see NSYNC and a limo ride and dinner and yay!!! that was awesome! the best ever!

14. What is the most important thing about the holidays for you? My Savior's birth!!!!

15. What is your favorite holiday dessert? all the different cookies and chocolate covered things that my mom and I make! :)

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Probably the reindeer food we put out on christmas eve and every christmas morning Gator swears up and down he heard santas sleigh and then of course the advent tree that we have been doing as a family every day! The kids love it and really get into it! :)

17. What tops your Christmas tree? used to be a teddy bear dressed like an angel that my mom made but now I have a beautiful red star that my mommy bought!!!

18. Which do you prefer giving or receiving? GIVING! It can BE stressful, but by FAR the best part of Christmas. I LOVE to see them open up something I’ve found JUST for them! So if I give you something this year, LIKE IT!

19. What is your favorite Christmas song? Mary Did You Know

20. Candy Canes. Yum or Yuck? Yum!!! I love some candy canes! :)

21. What do you want for Christmas? I want a laptop! (haha like thats going to happen) a new house, ummm new furniture... yeah pretty much a new house and everything new!!!! lol and i think my kids are asking for a lot! HEH!

22. Do you attend an annual Christmas party? well, aparently never before have we but this year we have a sunday school party, the youth dinner (WOO HOO) and Benny's company party ... all the same weekend and we cant take our kids to any of them! :) wow!!!

23. Do you dress up for Christmas Eve or wear PJ’s? We usually go to church with either my mom or the in laws so... we dress christmas casual!

24. Do you own a Santa hat? Of course, we all do because we HAVE to wear them when we go to the christmas parade down town! :) DUH!!!

25. Who do you normally spend Christmas with? The Cosar family!!!

Now, I get to tag five others.
1) Laura at flores family
2) Heidi
3) Dana... umm I dunno what I am doing! lol
4)MiaBellaMomma at Paying It Forward
5) Jackie

The Wishlist for our ANGEL family!!!!

Ok, so here are the names, ages, sizes and wishlist for the family I mentioned in my pervious post! We would love any help to make this CHRISTMAS full of Christ's love for them and just open their eyes and ours to the real meaning of the season!

Jasmin - 14 yr old girl
wears size 3 in pants, medium shirts, and 6 in shoes!
Her wishlist consists of:
Taylor Swift guitar songbook
makeup
perfume
earbuds for her MP3 player
anything PINK!!!


Devon - 11 yr old boy
wears size 14 reg in pants, Large shirts and 8.5 in shoes!
model cars/planes
legos
magnetix

Serenity - 6 yr old girl
wears size 7/8 in shirts and pants and size 12 shoes
dress up clothes
anything disney princess
bath toys!


Adrian - 3 yr old girl
wears sizes 4/5 in shirts and pants and 8.5 in shoes
bath toys
anything DORA!!!!!

If you would like to help this family this season just let me know at cosarclan4@yahoo.com! we Would love any help and we just really want to show these kids and their mom that they are our brothers and sisters and Christ and the Lord blesses us in many different ways!!! I am really excited to see how the Lord is going to bless each and everyone who gives to this family as well as prays for this family during this difficult time! Thanks for your prayers and giving hearts!!! God Bless You!!!

Giving to Others!

ok so at Eastwood lately Gordon has been preaching about giving principles! So it has really been on my mind! THEN... on Monday night in a small group a met a lady named Tara. She is a sweet sweet lady who has been through a lot in her life so far but she is a greatful believer in Jesus and has a very strong faith. Just recently in September she gave birth to a baby boy and her chances of living through the birth was 10%. See Tara is on the waiting list for now only a liver transplant, but a heart transplant also. Praise the Lord she made it through the labor and the baby was healthy as well. She put him up for adoption because she knew she can't care for him right now. Tara has no income because of her health conditions and has 2 little girls!

SO.... HERE is where we all come in! I am going to get a wish list from the girls and anyone who wants to help out can do so!!!! If you would like to help please email me at cosarclan4@yahoo.com and i will get a copy of the wish list to you! Another family is already providing the christmas dinner for the family but I want to show them Christ love during this hard time! I know christmas isn't all about gifts under the tree but what better way to show the Love of our father for a family in need?!??!? If you can't help at this time I totally understand!!! Tara and her family need to be covered in our prayers so keep her family in mind and I will keep you updated! God Bless and Merry Christmas!!!!!!

Thankful

I am thankful today for my family! Thanksgiving is usually a hard time of year for me because my dads birthday is November 25th, so right around thanksgiving every year and for the last 4 years I have not had a thanksgiving with him. Originally it was because he was in prison and now.... well I won't go there! But last night at praise and prayer I was really convicted about all the bitterness I feel towards my dad and God just really spoke to me and showed me that without him I would not be where I am now, so for my dad I am truly thankful!
I am thankful for his love and support all throughout my childhood! My dad was my best friend and really made me a competitor but one that kept my priorities straight! He kept me in line, since he coached the football team in high school, he would always bribe his players so they would keep an eye on me! (thanks dad) He did EVERYTHING for me and for a good 10 years of my life I was an only child and he totally spoiled me rotten! I am very thankful for my dads love and friendship! I am thankful that he was there for me when I REALLY needed him and I pray that he can do the same for his new baby girl.
I am also soooo thankful for my hubby! He is amazing, He is my only friend that stuck right by my side throughout my dad going to prison and all of the drama that entailed! All of my other "friends" disowned me! But hey I am so thankful that the Lord allowed us to have a strong relationship to overcome many obstacles that have come our way and many more to come! I praise the Lord that he made Benny just for me and we have 3 amazing boys! I love you babe!!!
I am very thankful for my kiddos! They teach me something and encourage me to grow daily because they are doing the same!!!! They have their dads personality and love for everyone! I have to brag on my hubby again real quick, whenever we see someone stopped on the side of ther road or even in a parking lot, my kids are always like I think they need help! They are very observant and very willing to help someone in need because that is the amazing example Benny has set for them!
Finally I am thankful for my church family!!!! God is really moving and showing himself to us as a church family and if we are the body we have to keep our arms reaching, our hands healing and our words teaching! Pastor Gordon is a great encouragement, not only with his messages on evangelism but by his actions as well! We have some true servants of the Lord at Eastwood and I am so thankful for that! :)
Thank you father that you are who you are, you are who you have always been, who you will always be. Thank you for our body of Christ at eastwood, in our family, in tulsa, in the united states and in the world. I praise you today and give you all the glory for the many blessings in our lives! I thank you for choosing me, a sinner, to live for you and to share the good news of your son! I thank you for the most amazing sacrifice! Lord help me to keep my eyes, heart and mind open to the small sacrifices I can make to share your love with others! Lord I thank you for all the people you have put in our path and those who will be in the path tomorrow! Lord give me the strength and the confidence to step out on faith and allow your holy spirit to speak through me! thank you father for your unconditional love that saves me from my sins! In your sons Precious name , AMEN!

Who's in Your Wallet??

Praise the Lord!!!! One of the names on my card was saved and baptized yesterday!!!! WOOOO HOOOO!!!! God is awesome and he definetly hears our prayers and I praise Him for that! But I want to give a little more detail to the story because of course it wasn't just one little prayer from me that God heard, It was me and a multitude of others.
I want to give you all some insight on the work my husband has been doing for this particular person! He reads the Bible with him DAILY, he is an amazing example of Christ to him daily (even though many days he comes home and is so frustrated about it) because he is of course in this world and has the same temptations and reactions to different situations that we all do. But Benny really dedicated himself to help this person and I think not only has it changed this person's life but Benny's life as well. He knows now he can be more christlike and actually see the fruit that comes from it! PRAISE THE LORD! I am sorry but this is sooooo incredibly exciting to me I can't hardly think of how to say all of this.
God has really been working in our lives and it is a blessing just to see how amazing life can be when you give it all to the Lord and allow his will to be done!!!! I seriously think this was the best spiritual week of my LIFE!!!!
So I am writing this because we have been praying for the person for at least 2 months which isn't a LONG time by any means but God hears our prayers and he answers them in HIS PERFECT TIMING!!!!!

Thank you Lord that you hear our prayers! Thank you for the amazing fellowship we had this past week! Lord I pray that every week will be like this one and that it will just continue to get better and better and we will be enlarging your kingdom! Father I praise you for your ultimate sacrifice that gives us HOPE , it wipes away ALL of our sins! Thank you Lord for your grace, your mercy and your unfailing love! help us to be examples everyday of your sacrifice! Father I praise you for Mike and Erin! thank you for his commitment to you Lord! help each of us around him to build him up daily because we know the christian walk still has challenges! Father I praise you that Satan is attacking us because that means we are doing good for you! I pray that you will continue to show us your comfort and I praise you for YOUR holy spirit that lives in us because He is bigger than the devil in this world! We give YOU all the glory father and I praise you that you are using us, your lowly servants for your glory! In Jesus Holy Name, AMEN!

A True Blessing

The Lord has been doing some pretty amazing things lately! But there is one HUGE Blessing that I just have to share with everyone and give God all the glory!!! He still performs miracles!!!!

Alright so, at Celebrate Recovery there is a couple who found out that their baby was having kidney problems and when he was born that one of his kidney's would probably have to be removed! So we began praying then, which was about 2 months before Baby Zion's birth! So his birth went well but still problems with the kidney and the family went to several doctors to see if they had any other option besides removing it! So of course we continued to pray and Baby Zion is now 2 months old. About 2 weeks ago they found a doctor that would go in and try to remove the blockage to give him a healthy kidney!!! WOO HOO Praise the Lord! So we were all so excited to hear the great news and we began praying that the surgery would go well, the doctors would have the knowledge and deligence to remove the blockage and baby Zion would be healthy!!!!
Which brings us up to this past weds. Nov. 5th... baby Zion and family drove to OKC for the surgery which was supposed to begin at noon! So around 11 we all started praying together and the doctors inserted the dye into Baby Zion to pin point the blockage that he needed to remove and guess what?!?!?!?!?!?! THE BLOCKAGE WAS TOTALLY GONE!!!!! Wow, even just typing it again makes me cry! How precious his little life is and how amazing his testimony already is before he can talk! Wow, the power of prayer is totally amazing and I am so greatful that I was a witness to this beautiful miracle!! I haven't seen the family since they returned but I already know they have HUGE smiles on their face and they are giving God all the praise he deserves!!!!

Thank you Father for your blessings! Thank you for hearing our prayers and MANY of your children cried out to you for baby Zion! I praise you for the changes you have made in his family's life and I praise you that they have come to know you and will raise Zion up to be a wonderful servant for you! Thank you Lord for blessing us with children! They are an amazing gift from you and just help us to remember that daily and give you praise daily, even through the trials!!!!! You are amazing God! I am so greatful to be one of your children, Father. I pray that you will use me and all your other children to reach those that are lost and make them feel at our in our family! Again Father thank you for your grace and your mercy! In Jesus Holy Name, AMEN!

Forgiveness!

Today I have a prayer request! My very first blog that started this whole page was about all the trials in my life that I have been through, thanks to my dad! I really feel like I have overcome a lot in my life already but this whole FORGIVENESS thing really kicks my butt! I think I have taken care of it but I know I haven't because as soon as I see a text from him, hear his voice, or just even the thought of him makes me angry! I really really don't like it because I want to think I have grown in my walk with the Lord, which I know I have, but this is totally dragging me back down. If I can't forgive my dad and really give that issue to the Lord than He can't really use me.
I guess I never realized how big of an issue it was in my life until today when my dad called asking where Benny works because he wants to apply there... and what was the first thing that Hannah did when she hung up with him??? Went to Benny's work and told his boss... there is a man named Richard he is applying through such and such... DO NOT HIRE HIM! ok wow Hannah, real good! I want the best for my dad and his new little family but.... I don't really feel it deep down in my heart and that is sooooooo wrong!
OK!!!! We have some friends that have been having an issue with some neighbors and Benny keeps quoting Romans 12:19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord.
so I am ok with that Lord but.... CAN I WATCH?!?!?!?!
No really, on a serious note, I need to give it up and I can't do it without prayer! So I am going to work on it and you pray for me because ummm.... I NEED IT! I want the Lord to use me more than ever because it is really exciting!!!!!!

Tuesdays Challenge.... are you up to it???

Today I was reading the daily Proverb, which would be Chapter 4 and I LOVE verse 18... The path of the righteous is like the morning sun, shining ever brighter till the full light of day!
So it hit me! I need to be like the sun, letting my light shine and only getting better and brighter throughout the day as opposed to becoming dull and .... yeah just BLAH! Ok, WOW... I don't think I am every like the sun! I am pretty sure I wake up, do my daily devotional, pray and I am ready for the day ahead! But once I step into the world... wow!!! I need to focus on what the Lord has planned for my day and be positive and bright the WHOLE DAY!!!!
So that is my challenge for myself and anyone else who wants to join me! Lets be like the morning sun!!!!! Pray for me because I know I can't do it living in my sinful nature! I have to be living for Him!!!!
And He died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again. 2 Corinthians 5:15

Pray for a WHOLE HOUR..... are you kidding???

Ok! so I am soooo excited to tell you all that on Saturday night my amazing husband had the idea that we should pray for an hour since the time was changing!!!! So we sent text last minute and yada yada yada... I wasn't feeling it at all.. I had a headache, I was tired (already had my pajamas on) and it was 11 pm!!!! But we had told everyone we would be at the prayer room praying from 11 - 12!
Ok so its 10:50 ... I am cozy in the bed, I know no one can make it because it was completely last minute so I said lets just stay home and pray! But Praise the Lord Benny was still ready to go and was going with or without me! So I threw on some clothes and jumped in his truck!
YAY!!! It was amazing! We have prayed together before but A WHOLE HOUR!!!! Wow... it was very powerful and just exciting!!!!!! I loved every second of it and would do it ever night if we could!!!!! The holy spirit was really working with us and we just prayed about EVERYTHING!!!! I gave some things to the Lord that night that I have been holding onto, even from Benny, for at least 7 years!!! Wow. what a relief to cast my cares upon Him! I know I tell people that all the time but I really didn't do it! :( But I am so greatful that I had this opportunity to pray with my husband for an hour! I really can't it but ... PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!

Praise the Lord!!!!

Praise the Lord!!! Keiston started in a new class today! Wow, if you haven't talked to me in the past week this was a huge blessing! I don't want to fill this blog with all the ugly mean things that have been going on but just know that it is a blessing that he got out of that class!!!

Praise the Lord for my family and amazing church family! There are sooo many exciting things going on at Eastwood Baptist church!!! It is all for the glory of the Lord and its so exciting just to say we are a part of it!

Praise the Lord that football and soccer will be over soon! (2 weeks) woo hoo! I love it but wow ... we have ZERO free time! always running from here to there eating sandwiches and cheez its in the car, which I am sure the kids don't mind, but I get sick of it! :)

Praise the Lord for his grace, mercy , love and FORGIVENESS!!!! Wow, where we would be without it.... Wait, don't answer that! I am so thankful that the Lord saved me from all my sins and made the ulimate sacrifice for us! WOOO HOOO so why is it so hard to go out and live each day for Him! Ugh....the Devil! Last night at The Gathering we were reading in James 3 about taming your tongue! Now, that is a huge challenge for me and I have to say, I think I am getting A LOT better about it for the most part. But often times, at home I BLOW UP! I know its not right but hey.... its the truth and in Corinthians it tells us to confess our sins to our brothers and sisters so they can pray for us! So.... please pray for me because I have a hot temper and a flaming mouth that just light up when I get mad about something at the house!

Praise the Lord that I have now learned how to keep short accounts and even in the middle of my rage I can stop, feel really stupid, and ask for forgiveness right then! I love it when Jeff was talking about repentance... it doesn't mean just ask for forgiveness, you must also TURN AWAY from the sin! wow... thats convicting! so please pray for me as I continue to be more Christ like each and every day.

God is AWESOME!!!

Ok, So we are still working on this Share Jesus Without Fear course, which is super exciting!!! So... me being the shy one that I really am deep down has always sat back and admired how the Lord is working through Benny and actually almost felt like it was sufficent for my work for the Lord also! (ok, that is really bad but hey! I am trying to be honest here!)
But this last week, I decided ok... I am going to try it and just see what happens! Now, I always send text messages to people just to check in or to send encouraging Bible verses which has been an encouragement to see how the Lord is working! So, as usual I just sent a text message to a couple people I haven't seen at church lately just to check in, see if there was anything they needed.. etc. and YAY!!!! One of them showed up for Sunday school this past week and she said the whole lesson was about her! (Isn't it funny how God does that when you haven't been in His Word and his presence for a while?!?!?) So yay! I was encouraged by that because just by saying hey how are you we missed you... The Lord used it for his glory!!!
The other thing I did was I went up to the church Friday afternoon and picked up some flyers for the hispanic event that was going on Saturday evening! I was able to pass out a few around the house and guess what?!?!?!? two families actually came!!!! wooo hooo! So I am very encouraged because it was the very last flyer I handed out and I had actually passed by the lady thinking... oh its hopeless but the Holy Spirit told me TURN AROUND AND GO TALK TO HER! So.... I did it and YAY!!! They were the ones who came!! It was two couples with 4 beautiful kids that actually go to school with Keiston and Gator!!!
Which brings me to today! I am going to stop by the church and get some fall festival flyers to pass out around the house and at Keiston's soccer practice tonight!! I am sooo excited to see how the Lord is going to use this outreach to build up the kingdom!!!!
Just a quick plug by the way, Eastwood is on 11th and Mingo and this Friday October 31st we are having a fall festival from 6:30 to 8:30 free food, games and candy for the kids!!! Come join us and stay warm!!!

AH HA Moment!!!

Ok, so we have been going through this Share Jesus Without Fear course on Sunday nights at EASTWOOD BAPTIST CHURCH! Let me tell you, it is pretty amazing! But for me, I think the biggest reason why I haven't shared Jesus with too many people is because I wasn't really clear on my own personal testimony. So... I have been praying about it and God has revealed some truths in my life... which are painful but YAY, I now know why they happened to me! I finally had an AH HA moment!!! Praise the Lord!
So... a lot of things in my past were crazy but my Dad was my best friend, he was everything to me! For example... my mom loved chinese food, dad hated so me... well I hated it of course even though I had know clue what it tasted like! haha I know that is a dumb example but if my dad said it.. I did it no questions! I thought it was amazing until December of 2003 when my dad went to prison! (Long story, tons of details that I will share with anyone who wants to hear them!)
The thing that God has really revealed to me in the last few days is how amazing my mom is and how strong her faith has always been! Last night at the Gathering, Jeff was talking about 3 types of faith: dead, demonic and dynamic! (James 2:14-26) My moms faith was soooo dynamic that it brought me to Christ at the age of 19.
Now, I had been baptized at the age of 8, was brought up in church my whole entire life but I had NO CLUE!!!! I thank the Lord daily for my mom and my husband who were the only 2 people who were there for me and encouraged me through my huge TRIAL in my life! I am so blessed to have both of them in my life and I am so greatful that the Lord revealed himself to me through each one of them. Through their works, actions and just dynamic faith!
So they were the faithful servants who never lost sight of the Lord and saved my life! So.... Who are the faithful servants in your life?

CHAOS!!!!

Ok, so right now the daily routine consists of school, eating, running to soccer/football practice, homework, baths and bedtime! THATS ABOUT IT! I do my daily bible reading when Benny heads to work before I wake up the kiddos for school but ugh! Life is moving so quickly! The Lord has a plan and I know time management is something I need to figure out but WOW! Life as a mother of 3 kids is hectic! I am very exciting for how the Lord using just a few minutes of our time for his glory in almost everything we do! I have had a few chances to share with some friends and family. I am excited to plant some seeds!